One of the most challenging aspects of dealing with a narcissist is overcoming the ego barrier. The ego barrier is the psychological defense mechanism that narcissists use to protect their inflated sense of self and to avoid facing their own flaws and vulnerabilities. They often project their own insecurities onto others, blame them for their problems, and manipulate them to get what they want.
The ego barrier prevents people from acknowledging their true selves and their limitations. It is often manifested as a resistance to change, feedback, or criticism. When you try to break through someone's ego barrier, you should be prepared for a strong and unexpected reaction from them. They may become angry, defensive, or hostile, as the ego tries to preserve its false sense of identity and superiority. These are signs that you are challenging their fictitious beliefs, and they are not ready to face them. The ego will be on high alert to defend its falseness.
However, there is a way to break through the ego barrier and reach the true self of a narcissist. It is based on the same principle as fighting fire with fire. In other words, to deal with a narcissist, you need to act like a narcissist, but with a lot of AWARENESS. This means that you need to mirror their behavior, but not in a malicious or vindictive way. Rather, you need to use it as a strategy to expose their contradictions, challenge their assumptions, and make them question their reality.
For example, if a narcissist tries to gaslight, you by denying or twisting the facts, you can respond by agreeing with them sarcastically or exaggerating their claims. Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that involves making someone doubt their own memory, perception, or sanity. It is a common tactic used by narcissists to make their victims feel confused, insecure, and dependent on them. By agreeing with them sarcastically or exaggerating their claims, you are showing them that you are not affected by their lies and that you can see through their manipulation.
If a narcissist tries to belittle you or make you feel inferior, you can respond by complimenting yourself or highlighting your achievements. You are "acting" like a narcissist, with awareness! This will make them feel insecure and jealous and show them that you are not intimidated by their insults. If a narcissist tries to control you or make you dependent on them, you can respond by asserting your independence and setting your boundaries. This will make them feel frustrated and powerless and show them that you are not their puppet.
By acting like a narcissist with awareness, you are not only defending yourself from their abuse, but also helping them to confront their own issues. You are showing them that their ego barrier is not impenetrable and that there is another way of relating to themselves and others. You are inviting them to join you in a more authentic and compassionate way of living.
Of course, this is not an easy or foolproof method. It requires a lot of Courage, Patience, and Skill. It also depends on the type and severity of narcissism that you are dealing with. Some narcissists may be more open to change than others. Some may react with anger or violence if they feel threatened or exposed. Some may simply ignore or avoid you if they sense that you are not playing by their rules.
Therefore, before you decide to use this method, you need to assess the situation carefully and weigh the risks and benefits. You also need to have a strong sense of SOUL not self, and a clear purpose for why you are doing this. You are not trying to hurt or humiliate the narcissist, but to help them heal and grow. You are not trying to change them against their will, but to offer them a choice. You are not trying to win or lose, but to create a win-win situation.
If you can do this with sincerity and integrity, you may be able to break through the ego barrier of a narcissist and reach their true self. You may be able to transform your relationship from one of conflict and pain to one of harmony and joy.
-Eddie